arhhh the lunch time ill advised glass of wine. it gives the afternoon a rosy, but unbearably slow glow!

questions of the day: how am i ever going to lose weight when i simply don't care enough to eat less!
does telling someone you want a suprise invalidate the benefit of the surprise?
should i stick to the resolution i make every time i have a lunch time drink and actually not have 'just the one' again?
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so its been a while since i first blogged, which is kinda sad, but i've been too busy with work to do anything recently.

but all that had changed as of this morning, my field board meeting is done and the world is now almost my oyster.

in the meantime in the last couple of weeks i've managed to get myself engaged (how did that happen), and generally be tired, frazzled and nasty to a wide range of people who have kindly put up with me.

there's this diagram in dallas willard's book (renovation of the heart) that talks about how one's life and the actions one takes are a direct reflection of ones heart and relationship with the Creator. dallas makes the point that when one loses one's temper and then says 'thats not like me, i don't normally do that' thats not really right; it had to be within you in order to come out, which means the Shaper has more work to do, whether its a one off or no. this sounds like a pretty accurate idea to me: it does however mean that on the strength of the last couple of weeks the Father has rather a lot to do in me. its true that pressure brings out extremes but it also makes me question how far the changes the Lord has made in my life have gone; mabe they only scratched the surface. in which case i have to ask Him upstairs to do somethign about it, cos i just don't like who i've been.
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